Back to life in New York....

...but embarking on another circus adventure!!!

Yes, as Giffords Circus co-director David Hibling put it: "Carolina, you'll never get the sawdust out of your heart." I just finished watching the PBS special "Circus" a beautiful documentary on the 2009 Big Apple Circus show, and during the last episode I found myself crying-well-sobbing tears of sadness and joy. I am truly blessed to have been part of such a special circus adventure with England's Giffords Circus this year, and it's an experience I'll take with me for the rest of my life. Even though I wasn't born into the circus like some of the performers in the documentary, I feel very much a part of it now that I have experienced one run in a circus.

We left off in the last post with me being back in London. It's hard to believe that was only two months ago, as so much has happened since! The vacation was a well-deserved and lovely break where I was able to visit friends and family in Paris and Amsterdam. We even had a mini Giffords reunion in Paris with a few of us performers who were either home in Paris or visiting, which helped to ease the pain of being pulled away from the circus so quickly. I practiced my French, shopped, went sightseeing, saw shows, explored on bike, and ate local cuisine and at the end of it I was ready to head home as it had been about six months since I began circus rehearsal. I'm now back in New York modeling, doing extra work for tv and film, auditioning and taking dance class, and temping a bit too. Above you'll see some of my recent modeling work, and there's more on my website. Things are back to the way they were before I left for the circus, but I wouldn't say I'm the same person. I've grown so much as a person and a performer that I believe I can tackle things with more integrity and curiosity but above all without fear.

Also, the funny thing is it seems as if David's prophecy came true: within a few weeks of being back to the City I found myself being called back for the dance company Pilobolus' 2010 circus tour through Europe. Had I landed that I would have been touring Europe for over a year with rehearsals beginning immediately in Austria. It would have been too soon for me to head back out, but it was a huge boost of confidence to have made it that far! Then the PBS "Circus" ads were floating around New York including smacking me in the face on my daily subway commutes around the city. Last but not least came the confirmation that I begin rehearsing for "Barnum" the musical in Connecticut right after Thanksgiving...which reminds me that I need to get my upper body into shape! Despite my nerves on working on the silks next week, I'm newly inspired by the beautiful four-part documentary I just finished, and I have a silk foundation thanks to my experimenting with them in the evenings at Giffords Circus. I know what to expect and I welcome the challenge of becoming an aerial dancer.

It's a new Carolina Ballerina, perhaps a Carolina the Circus Ballerina! Either way, I have so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving and I continue to be humbled by the opportunities I've been presented with. I will do everything I can to keep working hard in my craft as I know now that a life without performance is a life I don't want to be in (at this stage in my life). I am so excited for the possibilities that lie ahead! Thank you Giffords, PBS, and God for these blessings. Thank you to my friends, family, and boyfriend for their love and support! Happy Thanksgiving everyone, may you all have a fantastic holiday filled with warmth and joy.

With love,

Carolina the Traveling Ballerina

All Good Things Come to an End

...but then there's always a vacation!!!

I can't believe it's already the 13th of September. The circus just ended and I'm back in London once again (at my Godfather's) ready for a ten day vacation around Europe. The end came so quickly and I don't think it has fully hit me yet that this magical experience is really over. What an adventure I was embarking on last April....little did I know how far I would come with my assistant choreographer/director role as well as performing in the show as one of the two dancers. I really loved touring around the United Kingdom these last five months and I'm going to miss my circus family dreadfully. I'll think of them when I bring some of their phrases back to the UK: "That's well nice!" or "You knob" or "That's knaff" or "Nice one!" There are also some ruder ones...

Our last few sites went really well (we were all sold out!) and we had another visit from Helena Bonham-Carter and family as well as designer Vivienne Westwood. Our last weekend of shows in Cirencester brought a comedy show by some of the performers on Friday night and a visit from Molly Molloy the director, on Saturday night we put on a spoof show of the main circus acts and the Martinez family visited me from London, and Sunday my photographer friend Lia Chavez and her husband David visited and after the last show we had a big party. The comedy show was put on by Will Buchanan our drummer, Gabor Vosteen our musical clown, and Olivier Taquin our mime act. Olivier and his partner Boris were two men watching a scary/romantic/funny/trajic movie and was such a wonderful use of facial expressions over a well chosen soundtrack. Gabor then did a theatrical rendition of Tim Burton's "Edward Scissorhands" and Will closed the show with some stand up comedy. Saturday night's spoof show was so funny and so creative I absolutely loved watching it (and performing as He Yuan and Yang Rui's Chinese globe act wannabes). Finally, last night was incredible with London band "The Trojans" (Gaz of Gaz's nightclub's band) performing in the ring and everyone dancing. There was a hog roast and cocktails served as well, and everyone was in great spirits. However, today was another matter as everyone was so sad this morning taking down the tent, finishing up their packing, and making their way to the next chapter of their lives. I left on a tearful goodbye but taking so much with me from the experience.

I am so incredibly grateful for everyone who visited me on the tour. Thanks to Kurt, Mom and Dad, the Hartwell family, Tia Helena and Helo with Caaarlo, the Magoris family, the Martinez family, and Lia Chavez and her husband David. Finally, thanks to Molly Molloy my mentor and the most wonderful director I could have worked for in my first assistant choreographer and director position.

I'm really looking forward to heading off to Paris and then Amsterdam for a 10 day holiday to visit my godmother and friends! On the way back from Amsterdam I'll make another stopover in London to take some dance classes and do some more photography work with Lia. Then it's back to the Big Apple where I will finally be reunited with boyfriend Kurt, family, and friends.

PS I've just received word that the Ivoryton Playhouse in Connecticut (where I performed in the musical "Evita" in the summer of 2008) is putting on the circus musical "Barnum" in December! Jackie Hubbard has already invited me to take part so it looks as if I might be working on another circus musical to come!

That's all for now, with very much love

Carolina the Traveling Circus Ballerina